A collection of essays on marriage and manners, thank you notes and three-ways, ghosts, gunshots, gynecology, and the Calgon-scented, onion-dipped, monogrammed art of living as a Southern Lady.

Making a marriage magically tidy --The Topeka three-way -- How to stay happily married -- Free to be...you and me (and childfree) -- A room of one's own (that's full of gay men) -- The other woman's Burberry coat -- Peggy Sue got marijuana -- What every girl should learn from ABC's The bachelor -- The ghost experience -- Party foul -- Today was a good day! -- Straighten up and fly right -- Halloween people -- Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1979 -- How to be the best guest -- When to write a thank-you note -- An Emily Post for the apocalypse -- How I watch pornography like a lady -- Dumb boobs -- Young ladies, listen to me -- Seven things I'm doing instead of a neck lift -- Serious women -- That kind of woman.